Being a Servant
Today would be my oldest brother's 73 birthday if he had lived. He died at the age of 66. My brother was and still is in some ways very important to me. Richard taught me how to live in Christ. I say that to explain that he and I both grew up in the same family. He had an older sister, a younger sister and a little brother and sister. All of our lives were lived in light of the church and its teachings. I never heard my mother or father in anyway criticize the church. They did not put out their concerns about things that came up because they had realized early on that being critical of things you believe in would not benefit their family.
When my Dad became ill, Richard made a very strong effort to make sure that he and Dad had a good relationship. Dad, prior to his illness, even went and helped Richard when he bought his property in Wimberley. Richard had seen Dad build a house and he decided to do the same thing. Dad helped him all that he could but heart trouble made it difficult. When Dad died Richard took up the mantel and made every effort to visit with Mom. He came to see her at least once a month. He would often spend the night at our home and head back to Wimberley on Saturday. During his short but enjoyable visits, I got to reconnect with my brother and it was a good thing for both of us.
As the Lord directed I resigned the little church I had in Santa Fe, and began looking for a place to live near Austin. Two of our children had already relocated there and we knew that if we wanted to see any potential grandchildren we would have to live more closely to them. As it turned out, God moved us here more for Richard than anything else. Richard had a cardiac arrest on April 22. He was resuscitated three times until they got his heart to settle down. I had already been the one taking him to the hospital for this and that. He was terrified of death. Mom told me that God had moved me to Austin for Richard. I believe she was right. I was asked so many times if I ever talked about the Lord to my brother. The answer had to be in the affirmative. I spoke with him, loved him, supported him and carried his little carry bag of medicine with him. I sat in the cubicle when he would be admitted for one procedure after another. I stayed in the room and watched over him day and night for at least as long as he could tolerate me.
I never preached to my brother even though I was a preacher. I just loved and accepted him just as I know Christ loved and accepted me. Richard never doubted my devotion. He told one of his visitors that I was a saint (really) and that I was his pastor when asked what is religious affiliation was. I was honored by his realization that I loved him unconditionally and accepted him. Everyday I tried to serve the Lord by letting Him live through my life. No job was to big or to small, although his cardiologist grabbed the suitcase and carried it for me as we went to see him. The cardiologist realized our families love for my brother. He came to Richard's funeral. He had asked me about where it would be but I really did not take him seriously yet to my utter amazement, he actually came to express his sympathy and concern for Richard's family.
I thought of this last night as I went to sleep. I thought of how many times I let Christ live through my life and love through me. My how humbling is such a posture. How precious life is! How blessed we are to live it! We all have family and friends who do not think or behave as we do. Our place is not to judge it is to love. Love takes on a servants heart. It is not difficult to love a lovable person but some people are very hard to love. Richard took some work because he had been so abandoned by people who had lived in his life. Key members in his family had turned on him. He was hurt. He was divorced though he did not want to be. I was divorced and remarried. We had the divorce in common. He knew what it was to hurt and be mistreated. It took a lot of proving before he would accept or trust anyone with his heart again. God gave him a place of acceptance without conditions and he appreciated it.
My point is we need to let Christ wear us everyday we live. We cannot just pull our righteous robes about us and yell at the world, "Just follow what I say and it will be okay." The old saying, "your life speaks so loudly that the world cannot hear your words." Judge not that you be not judged. We must judge ourselves and determine what we want to do with our life. Our actions should agree with our testimony.
I miss my brother. I prayed for him as did my entire family each and everyday of his life. I had to release him to a loving and just God. I have no fear about the outcome. Two days after my brother died on October 16th my beautiful granddaughter came into the world on October 18. Though my heart was broken at the lose of my brother, I rejoiced at the birth of Astrid. She represents so many beautiful things. I stood in my son's home and was weeping over the loss of Richard when my beautiful and precious grandson at six years of age said, "Don't cry Granny, you will see him again." For that moment Axel became a servant lifting me up.
When my Dad became ill, Richard made a very strong effort to make sure that he and Dad had a good relationship. Dad, prior to his illness, even went and helped Richard when he bought his property in Wimberley. Richard had seen Dad build a house and he decided to do the same thing. Dad helped him all that he could but heart trouble made it difficult. When Dad died Richard took up the mantel and made every effort to visit with Mom. He came to see her at least once a month. He would often spend the night at our home and head back to Wimberley on Saturday. During his short but enjoyable visits, I got to reconnect with my brother and it was a good thing for both of us.
As the Lord directed I resigned the little church I had in Santa Fe, and began looking for a place to live near Austin. Two of our children had already relocated there and we knew that if we wanted to see any potential grandchildren we would have to live more closely to them. As it turned out, God moved us here more for Richard than anything else. Richard had a cardiac arrest on April 22. He was resuscitated three times until they got his heart to settle down. I had already been the one taking him to the hospital for this and that. He was terrified of death. Mom told me that God had moved me to Austin for Richard. I believe she was right. I was asked so many times if I ever talked about the Lord to my brother. The answer had to be in the affirmative. I spoke with him, loved him, supported him and carried his little carry bag of medicine with him. I sat in the cubicle when he would be admitted for one procedure after another. I stayed in the room and watched over him day and night for at least as long as he could tolerate me.
I never preached to my brother even though I was a preacher. I just loved and accepted him just as I know Christ loved and accepted me. Richard never doubted my devotion. He told one of his visitors that I was a saint (really) and that I was his pastor when asked what is religious affiliation was. I was honored by his realization that I loved him unconditionally and accepted him. Everyday I tried to serve the Lord by letting Him live through my life. No job was to big or to small, although his cardiologist grabbed the suitcase and carried it for me as we went to see him. The cardiologist realized our families love for my brother. He came to Richard's funeral. He had asked me about where it would be but I really did not take him seriously yet to my utter amazement, he actually came to express his sympathy and concern for Richard's family.
I thought of this last night as I went to sleep. I thought of how many times I let Christ live through my life and love through me. My how humbling is such a posture. How precious life is! How blessed we are to live it! We all have family and friends who do not think or behave as we do. Our place is not to judge it is to love. Love takes on a servants heart. It is not difficult to love a lovable person but some people are very hard to love. Richard took some work because he had been so abandoned by people who had lived in his life. Key members in his family had turned on him. He was hurt. He was divorced though he did not want to be. I was divorced and remarried. We had the divorce in common. He knew what it was to hurt and be mistreated. It took a lot of proving before he would accept or trust anyone with his heart again. God gave him a place of acceptance without conditions and he appreciated it.
My point is we need to let Christ wear us everyday we live. We cannot just pull our righteous robes about us and yell at the world, "Just follow what I say and it will be okay." The old saying, "your life speaks so loudly that the world cannot hear your words." Judge not that you be not judged. We must judge ourselves and determine what we want to do with our life. Our actions should agree with our testimony.
I miss my brother. I prayed for him as did my entire family each and everyday of his life. I had to release him to a loving and just God. I have no fear about the outcome. Two days after my brother died on October 16th my beautiful granddaughter came into the world on October 18. Though my heart was broken at the lose of my brother, I rejoiced at the birth of Astrid. She represents so many beautiful things. I stood in my son's home and was weeping over the loss of Richard when my beautiful and precious grandson at six years of age said, "Don't cry Granny, you will see him again." For that moment Axel became a servant lifting me up.
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